3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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