If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
