Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
