Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
