i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
