My brain says no but my pants say off.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
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We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
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After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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