My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
