Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
