If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
