nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
