Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
