In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
