Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
