i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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