I need help removing her.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
