just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
