you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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