i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
