Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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