oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
