I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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