Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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