just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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