So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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