just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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