I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
