My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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