u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
