Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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