it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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