I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
