I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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