"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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