I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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