Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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