Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
