I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
