we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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