so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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