Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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