Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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