dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
