we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it's like iHOP with fire
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
