Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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