why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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