who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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