Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
