Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
