the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
