Im at strip club and am horny
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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