we have officially lost it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
