after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
