They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
