There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
soo... how was my night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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