He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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