So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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