Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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