If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the raccoons are back...
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