Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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