Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
