My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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