Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
