Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
