the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
