I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
