is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
