Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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